Scattered Thoughts

My son Levi, waiting for his Thanksgiving meal

I know it's been quiet around here.  The last few weeks have been busy—very busy.  I don't usually "do" busy, but there are times when life makes it a necessity.  Ecclesiastes says that there is a time for everything, and this has been a time of busyness. When your life is about helping, serving, and loving others, you sometimes have to put yourself and your desire for time and boundaries aside for a bit. Jesus showed us that example. As He left to go pray alone, the crowds followed him.  I am sure that He was desperate for some time of peace and quiet with His Father, but he relented and "had compassion on them."  And so it has been in my life lately.  Compassion for my kids who have needed something extra from me.  Compassion for friends who needed a listening ear, an open home, or even some fresh-baked cookies.

I don't do busy well (it brings out the worst in me) but God is gently, patiently, and lovingly showing me how horrible I am at it and why it is that I need him so desperately.  There will be times of busy. This has been one of them. And hopefully, prayerfully, the next few weeks and months will gradually lead into a time of not busy. Because like I said, busy brings out the worst in me.  Just this morning, as I was thinking of all the things that needed to be done for our Thanksgiving meal, I had to take some time to crawl onto my daughter's bed and whisper words of asking for forgiveness.  Trying to plan a day centered around giving thanks doesn't quite mesh with the knowledge that my tone of voice the last few days has said that I am anything but thankful.

But I am thankful.  Thankful for my life and all its blessings.  All its hardships.  Both of them are part of God's plan for my life—a plan to mold me and shape me into the woman He created me to be.  I am thankful for His great patience.  I am thankful for His great love.  I am thankful for the Holy Spirit who can accomplish things that my sinful nature never could.  I am thankful for God's great grace in my life and I pray that my thankfulness will be genuine enough to not take any of it for granted.

Sorry for the scattered thoughts.  Happy Thanksgiving.


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