It was an incredibly busy weekend. Jason's birthday, Good Friday, sorting and packing our house, feverish and puking kids, a Seder Meal, cooking for two Easter events (neither of which I was able to attend due to the feverish and puking kids), Easter baskets, decorating eggs, and clingy baby, and well, just life. Cooking, cleaning, consoling, teaching, training, talking, dreaming, shopping, reading, and more. It was a full, full weekend, and yet...I felt so content. So fulfilled.
I am learning (slowly and yet so deeply) that the more I give myself to this task of parenting, the more fulfilled I truly am. As women, we so often go looking for something (that we qualify with "outside my family") that will fill us, give us purpose, and use our gifts. And yet, my finding has been that the more I give of myself the way God asks me to, the filling comes. There is nothing amazing and thrilling about filling bottles, giving medicine, painting eggs, washing dishes, or baking bread. And yet, when we do those things in the name of Christ and as we work as unto the Lord, a supernatural peace and strength come. He has chosen this role for us as mothers. He will fill us. We have been given everything we need for a life of godliness. And godliness, to a woman with children, is investing in them fully and without complaint. It is working with our hands in delight.
When I fight the calling, when I long to do something that I (not God) deem meaningful or important, I find the tasks at home more frustrating, boring, life draining and to be more dumbing of my senses. The more I fight the mundane, the more I loathe it. The more I fight, the less I have of Him. The more I fight, the more I tell God that His purposes aren't meaningful enough for me. The more I fight, the less I see the wonder in my children. The more I fight, the more I hinder the little ones from coming to Him.
And so, I am learning to give myself fully to this task. I am learning to embrace God's call for me. And with that release has come an overwhelming flood of grace, patience, love, life, joy, and fulfillment.