I am so thankful for these people. Life isn't always easy. It isn't always fun, exciting, or even close to what I imagined it to be. But with these people, I am motivated to keep going, to persevere when the way gets hard, confusing, or uncomfortable. You see, these people motivate me. Marriage and parenting are refining experiences. I can either submit and let God do the painful work in me to mold me into who He wants me to be, or, I can fight His will all the way, clinging uselessly to my freedom, desires, and selfish demands. With each new day, with every triumph and every failure, I am being refined.
I am praying that I can be the wife that my husband needs and I can be the mother that my children need. But the only way I can do either of those things is to let go of the plans of my own heart and trust God with His plans. It's scary, it's worrisome, and it's... thrilling. God knows what I need. He knows what these precious children need. He knows what our family needs. I'm excited to see His plan continue to unfold.
I'll be around more now that we are back in the States and feeling pretty settled. God has laid a lot on my heart—a lot I want to share, a lot I want to process. But I am taking my time, praying that only His words would come through my fingers. It's so easy to let ME get in the way. I know that we as mothers need all the grace, love, patience, and encouragement we can get. I just want to be sure that what I write here is coming from the Lord and not from a woman desperately in need of her own grace, love, patience, and encouragement.