I used to have a large canvas hanging in the house that said "Follow Your Heart." It was beautiful and it reminded me that I am unique and that if I follow my heart (rather than the path of others), I am free to be who I am meant to be.
And then I took it down.
"The heart is deceitful above all things..." (Jeremiah 17:9)
Our hearts and feelings are unreliable. They are untrustworthy. They are inconsistent. They seek self and ease and comfort. They seek to appear better than everyone else and they long to have their opinions heard. Our hearts lead us down some dangerous paths.
Instead, Scripture tells us to guard our hearts:
"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life." (Proverbs 4:23)
On this side of heaven, we're stuck living half in this world and half in the one to come. We have the Spirit living within us and yet sin and selfishness lurk around every corner.
However, there is hope.
"The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He wishes." (Proverbs 21:1)
The Lord can turn our hearts. That news is breath to my weary soul! Left alone, we'll always veer towards self. But the Lord can turn our hearts. He can turn the hearts of kings, He can turn the hearts of others, He can even turn the heart of this sinful mama!
And so lately, this has been my daily prayer:
Lord, Turn my heart toward your Word. Turn my heart toward your will. Turn my heart toward my husband. Turn my heart toward my children. Turn my heart toward your people.
Every day, with my Bible reading done, my heart starts leaning away from truth and toward being selfish. Toward ease. Toward defending myself. Toward being understood. Toward being appreciated. Toward being noticed. Toward being heard.
And if that is where my heart is heading, I sure don't want to follow!
And so I pray.
I pray that the Lord — in His goodness and grace —would daily turn my heart back to where it belongs. Only then can I truly live.
And that's why I've been quiet around here. I've been struggling and praying and seeking and trying to figure out how live, speak, and write in a way that points to the Lord, not toward myself. I'm not sure I know how to do that.
But I'm still here, alive and happy, trying to live a life with my heart turned towards eternity.